West-N-Back

Friday night we met up at the bike shop in Victor, ID for a meeting about the next days ride. Jay Petervary, ultra endurance cycling legend and multiple time Iditabike finisher was in charge of the ride. His wife Tracy was also there along with a group of around 14 other people. I first learned about Jay and Tracy when I started following the Tour Divide in 2009. That year they were the first to do the 2700 mile dirt road race while riding a tandem! It was cool to meet them in person.

I didn't sleep very well the night before and woke up with a headache and feeling a bit nauseous. I ate some oatmeal for breakfast and within a few minutes the nausea was much worse. As we were heading out the door I felt an urgent need to visit the bathroom and soon found myself kneeling at the toilet losing my breakfast. I could tell it wasn't a bug, probably more to do with the general lack of sleep the past week and not getting enough to eat the day before. We got in the car and headed out toward the trailhead.

Mother Nature didn't cooperate with the ride plans for West-N-Back and considering how I physically felt, I wasn't too bothered by that. We arrived at the designated starting point around 7:30 am and the parking lot had around a foot of new snow. Fat bikes float pretty well, but they do have their limitations and 12 inches of new snow is too deep to pedal through. We drove up the road to Ponds to work on a plan B. We decided to go up a nearby road and check out the trails that branched off of it. If there was something that looked groomed more recently we'd take it, if not we'd just ride the snow covered road.

We ended up just riding the road, but it was a beautiful road with excellent conditions for snow biking. There were houses now and then, but for the most part just trees for scenery. Beautiful snow covered trees. There was a steady falling of snow all day and it was a pretty wet snow. We were thoroughly soaked by the time we finished. We covered almost exactly 30 miles and it took Brett and I 4 hours to do it. That's the longest I've been on a fatbike and it certainly is a lot of work, but it was pretty fun. We met up with everyone else back at Ponds and got some pizza at the bar there. We then sat around for at least an hour if not more just eating, laughing about how things turned out, and generally talking and joking around. It was a small group, about 10, with some very accomplished riders and it was pretty awesome. They were incredibly friendly and welcomed us novice strangers with open arms.

It wasn't at all what I was expecting out of the trip. But in a lot of ways it was better. Some of the best moments in life seem to come about when your original plans fall apart. Plan B can be a beautiful thing.

Taking Back Control

It was eight years ago on a trip to Idaho that my MCTD symptoms began to manifest themselves in full. That weekend marked the beginning of a change in the way I lived my life. Its a scary thing to go from being a fully able bodied person to someone who can't close their hand into a fist, hardly hold a pencil and write, or get up off the floor. I feel like I've always been a fearful person and a sudden chronic illness certainly doesn't inspire confidence for the future.

Next weekend there is a snowbike ride in Idaho, West-N-Back. The ride begins near Island Park, ID and follows snowmobile trails to West Yellowstone, MT then turns around and heads back. I'm going to do the West part, not the back...this year... Its just a small group of people on a friendly ride, but as I seriously contemplated attempting it and then committed to ride the 'West' part my attitude toward the ride began to change a bit. Dealing with chronic soreness, pain, fatigue and all the other goodies that come with MCTD or other chronic illnesses is not easy. The struggle is something that has occupied a lot of my thoughts and time over the past eight years. In the last few months some things have finally started coming together for me and my coping skills have improved pretty dramatically. I have a renewed confidence that although I don't know what the future holds for me, there are potentially some pretty bad things that could go wrong with my body, I'll be able to deal with it. This past year I've learned a lot about embracing pain and fatigue and working through it instead of trying to avoid or fight it. To my surprise I've found that I'm pretty damn good at it. It also opens the door to some great experiences. With this newly discovered ability and with the timing of the snow bike ride so close to my anniversary I've decided to turn this into something personal. I'm going back to Idaho. I'm going to enter an event that is pretty much guaranteed to be difficult and tiring. I'm going to embrace the struggle and fatigue. I'm going to enjoy the moment and the beautiful surroundings. A trip to Idaho is again going to mark the beginning of a change in the way I live my life.